Tag: Gratitude

Gratitude, Happiness, Self Love

Five things I learned in 2020

Amanda

To put it plainly, 2020 was ROUGH.

If someone had asked me 365 days ago what 2020 would look like, I never would have predicted this. I never dreamed that I would live through a pandemic that would require physical distance in order to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. I never dreamed I’d see memes of dogs demonstrating how to properly wear a face covering. It all just seems so bizarre, looking through the lens of early 2019.

COVID forced us to take a good, hard, look at ourselves, and our world. It challenged us to evaluate our lifestyles and navigate what has become our “new normal.” Despite the trauma, uncertainty, and despair of this year, I was incredibly blessed with so many lessons learned. If I were to write about ALL of the lessons 2020 taught me we’d be here for ages, but there were a few that were particularly impactful for me.

1. I learned not to take my job for granted.

I learned early on that life is unpredictable, so I’ve always tried to take nothing, especially people, for granted. Like many others this year, I experienced loss. However I can find comfort in knowing that I did my best to express my appreciation, adoration, and love for them whenever and however I could. But I failed to expand this practice beyond family and friends until this year.

If you’ve followed me from the beginning, you know that this blog was launched as a way to help me navigate life being laid off as a result of COVID.

I never thought I would be laid off. I worked hard and supported many departments, but in this case, it didn’t matter.

I found myself relying on federal aid, and it was terrifying. I had just closed on a house and my savings had dwindled. I hadn’t solidified my new budget, but I knew that federal aid wouldn’t be enough to cover my expenses. Questions about the unknown began to flood my brain: How does unemployment work? Have I missed the filing deadline? What if I can’t afford to make my mortgage payments or to heat my home? What can I do to bring in some extra income that doesn’t require leaving the house?

I took a good, hard look at my indefinite financial reality and quickly learned the importance of maintaining and sticking to a budget, understanding my debt, how and where I could make adjustments to keep my finances in check, and more. I found ways to cut costs (i.e. I could take 5 trips to the local dump for less than half of one week’s garbage pickup, wild right?!), and accepted the superficial sacrifices I would have to make.

Gratitude for my job was top-of-mind when I first started, but over time I became complacent and took it, and my steady income, for granted. Thankfully, my lay-off was temporary and I was asked to return just a few weeks later, but the experience was a rude awakening and impactful lesson, and I realized how lucky I was. Regardless, COVID changed my perspective, and my attitude, when it comes to steady employment and how I manage my finances.

2. I learned to take time.

Between being laid off and subsequently working from home, I’ve had so much time this year to reflect. I miss traveling, going to a restaurants, hugging friends, visiting family, not wearing a mask, and countless other things that, until now, I also had taken for granted. I’ll never look at that kind of personal freedom the same way again.

I also never dreamed that I would have SO much time to myself! I will confess, at first it was a bit like a dream. I had all this time and space to myself, and no real obligations anymore since appointments and plans were cancelled. At times it did get lonely though, and that loneliness just crushes your soul. Thank goodness for Erin.

I took this time to practice just being in the moment. I was able to recognize and appreciated tiny moments of peace, familiar sounds, subtle beauty, video chats, and Erin snuggles. I became so thankful for these little moments that I began searching for them each day.

I took time to rediscover things that made my soul happy, like reading, writing, and walking. I wrote about them in a blog.

I took time to practice self care. I was gentle with myself as I struggled through my COVID-induced depression. I took a free, non-credit course about happiness at Yale. I found Facebook groups and Instagram accounts with the sole purpose of empowering, motivating, and supporting other women. I took time to find pieces of me that had gotten loss amongst the chaos that COVID brought to the world. Most importantly though, I took time to breathe deeply, and love so much it hurt.

3. I learned that I can overcome fear.

I was scared a lot this year. I was afraid of getting sick, or that those I loved would get sick. I was scared that my new homeownership adventure would be too much for me to handle. I was scared that Erin and I wouldn’t be a good fit. I was scared to start my own business. I was scared that working remotely would hinder my job performance. I was scared I wouldn’t make it through Sam’s, then Gordon’s passing. I was scared of letting others down, and letting myself down. I was scared that my mental, physical, and emotional health would suffer. I was just plain SCARED. And that sucked.

I’m proud to say that I didn’t let fear overtake me, and I was able to accomplish several things during such a trying year:

  1. I, and my family, are currently safe and healthy.
  2. I love my little home.
  3. Erin and I are a PERFECT match.
  4. I started a blog to explore my joy of writing.
  5. I started my own business; I’m now an Independent Consultant for a Direct Sales company and I LOVE it.
  6. I navigated telecommuting and managing a team virtually, and feel more productive than ever.
  7. I’m not letting myself, or anyone else down as long as I’m doing the best I can.

Don’t get me wrong, some things still scare the living daylight out of me. Some things will just take longer for me to work through, and that’s okay; 2021 is another year to tackle them.

4. I learned to let things go.

It’s taken me some time to embrace this one since I’ve always considered myself as a bit of a pack-rat. I’ve had this mentality that, “if there isn’t anything wrong with it, there’s no reason to get rid of it,” or “if so-and-so found out I didn’t keep this, they would be so disappointed.” I’ve begun asking myself, what good does that thinking do? What good comes out of hanging onto things, or even people, that no longer make you happy or help you grow? Why keep anything that causes you pain, discomfort, or stress every time you see it? Cluttered house. Cluttered mind. Cluttered house.

I needed a mindset shift: If it no longer served me, it was time to bless and release it from my life.

It was easy to start clearing out clothing that didn’t fit and objects I hadn’t touched in years, but items with an emotional element were more challenging. After much practice, I learned that any item that sparks a negative reaction, even if it once brought me joy or tugged at a happy memory, is something I no longer need in my life (thank you Marie Kondo and minimalist concepts). Since I started letting more go, I’m finding myself generally lighter, more at ease, and happier. See ya, negativity!

5. I learned to trust that I am right where I should be.

I know I’ve said this before, but I’m saying it again: I trust that the universe is there to guide me to exactly where I should be. From opting to travel abroad in 2019 instead of 2020, to adopting Erin right before COVID hit hard (and shelters closed to the public), things seemed to align at just the right time this year, which makes me hopeful for what’s to come in 2021.

This year was hard; I would be lying if I said I wasn’t happy to see it go. So, here’s to a new year of growth, learning, and adventuring. Cheers!

Gratitude, Happiness, Self Love

Tuesday Tip: Do more of what makes you happy

Amanda

May 26, 2020

Although I’ve been sharing motivational posts every Monday for the past several weeks, you may have noticed that I didn’t this week. Yesterday was Memorial Day, a day where we take time to honor, thank, and remember those who fought bravely and made the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of our freedom. I was also able to spend some much-needed time with my family.

I have to be honest, I felt a little guilty about not sharing one of my traditional Monday posts yesterday. However, I did not at all feel guilty about spending the time I would have spent writing, with my family taking advantage of the beautiful weather that the holiday weekend blessed us with. I was very happy, and realized how important it is that we all do more of what makes us happy, whenever we can. So this week, instead of a motivational Monday post, I’m substituting a Tuesday tip:

Do more of what makes you happy.

Please don’t misunderstand, writing for this blog makes me happy. I find much joy in sharing my thoughts and ideas with you, however I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to spend time with my family (which also makes me vastly happy). I don’t at all regret my decision, however I still felt a little guilty, so I worked to replace that guilt with gratitude toward the little experiences that happened over the weekend:

  • Taking morning walks with Erin.
  • Spending time and sharing meals with my family.
  • Watching birds; bluebirds, orioles, finches, cardinals, and more.
  • Drinking coffee on my parent’s porch.
  • Helping my mom plant her vegetable garden.
  • Remembering and being thankful for friends, past and present.
  • Catching up with my grandparents.
  • Watching more competitive baking shows (I told you I was addicted).
  • Curating content that inspires me.
  • Being mindful and grateful; being completely present while recognizing and understanding the importance of each fleeting moment.

I am so thankful for what this weekend offered me: happiness, love, family, support, comfort, gratitude, and more. It is so important for our well being to find happiness, to live happily, and to share in the happiness of others. Do more of what makes you happy; you won’t regret it.

Gratitude, Mindfulness, Self Love

My heart horse and the lessons he taught me

Amanda

I have always loved horses. I love their power, their grace, and their faces. When I was 11, my parents embraced my childhood adoration and signed me up for horseback riding lessons. My heart melted when I was introduced to the handsome lesson horse that would change my life as I knew it.

  • Gordon posing for the camera

Gordon was a chestnut brown quarter horse with an attitude, but he was an excellent teacher. He knew when to challenge his rider and when to encourage them, and he did it all at his own pace and in his own style. Gordon and I were both stubborn and strong-willed (which might be why we worked so well together) and loved each other with every ounce of our existence. When I fell off, he stood beside me until I got up. When he was scared, I did my best to be his courage. I felt divided when I wasn’t with him, and my best when I was. It was undeniable that our bond was strong and unique, and that it only made sense for me to have him. My heart chose him and his chose mine.

Now, nearly two decades later, I have no doubt that Gordon is, by every definition, my heart horse.

What is a heart horse? Let me try to explain.

Heart horses are rare and special. Some believe that heart horses are created for the sole purpose of making a specific person whole. They may not be incredibly beautiful, or experienced, or smart, but there is just something about that one horse that makes you feel complete. They challenge you, teach you, and reward you in just the right way and at just the right time. The bond is so strong that sometimes it physically hurts to imagine a life without them.

My heart horse taught me how to be patient, humble, and gentle, but also how to think on my toes and to be tough. He taught me the importance of staying calm and collected in stressful situations (colic, escapes, stitches, and beyond). He continues to teach me what it means to love unconditionally, that change is okay, and how to live in the moment.

While some equestrians will never find their heart horse, I was lucky enough to not only find mine, but to spend more than half of my life with him. Gordon has happily munched on hay, rolled in the grass, and made me laugh at my family’s barn for the past 19 years.

He’s an old man now and will be turning 32 in October (that’s around 96 in human years!). Sometimes I feel overwhelmed when I see his gray hairs or his rigid movements as his joints stiffen with age. I try to breathe deeply during these moments and remember what a wonderful life we’ve already shared together and what we have to look forward to despite whatever amount of time I still have with him. I’ll forever be grateful to the universe for bringing the two of us together, and allowing me to learn these important life lessons that only he could teach me.

  • Gordon with a mouthful of grass

Have you been blessed by a heart horse or other animal?

All photos featured in this blog post, except for the featured photo, were taken by the incredibly talented ReBecca from ReBecca’s Photography. Learn more.

Happiness, Health, Mindfulness, Self Love

Why I started walking and how I get the most out of it

Amanda

Mornings have always been hard for me. Quite frankly, I’m a grouch until 10-11 a.m. regardless of the number of hours I slept. “Happy” is the last thing I would consider myself feeling, and anyone who knows me would agree (although they might just be scared to say otherwise for fear of my inner grouch rearing it’s ugly head).

Unfortunately, my adopted pup, Erin, doesn’t understand this.

Dog looking upside down and backwards at the camera.

She wakes me every morning no later than 6 a.m. to start our day. Granted, 6 a.m. probably doesn’t seem that bad, but for someone who struggles with mornings as much as I do, it makes my heart hurt.

I tried snoozing my energetic, furry alarm but resistance was futile.

Coffee helps to take the edge off, but it isn’t quite enough to satisfy my inner grouch. I didn’t like how I felt; I knew I had to turn my frown upside down as quickly as possible.

Why walk?

Erin loves going for walks, as many dogs do, so I started taking her on 30-minute walks around our neighborhood every morning to try to make up for my terrible attitude. Erin was able to explore and release some of her pent up, overnight energy, and I noticed that I was reaping benefits of my own.

Walking is good for your health. Thirty minutes of brisk walking daily can improve and maintain your overall health, including improving cardiovascular fitness, enhancing muscle strength, and reducing excess body fat. Additionally, walking can help ease stress, reduce anxiety, and boost your mood (a.k.a. happiness!). I’ve experienced this first-hand. After walking regularly for a couple weeks, I noticed that I wasn’t as grouchy in the morning, generally happier throughout the day, and actually looked forward to our walks. I even shed a few pounds! Note: Please consult with your doctor before beginning any exercise regimen.

Walking is free. Since being unemployed, I’ve prioritized low-cost alternatives to things that I would consider purchasing if my situation was different; no gym memberships or streaming services for me!

Walking doesn’t require any special knowledge or training, and very little equipment; a decent pair of walking shoes or sneakers will do the trick!

Walking is flexible. Walking is a weight-bearing but low impact exercise which can be done for any length of time and at any pace. This makes walking an appropriate form of exercise for almost anyone regardless of fitness level. You can walk whenever and almost wherever you’d like (no trespassing, please), which makes it easy to integrate into a busy schedule. You can dedicate a set amount of time or distance to walk, like I do in the morning, or easily add extra steps into your day by taking the stairs instead of an elevator, parking farther away from a store’s entrance, or walking around the house while on the phone or brushing your teeth. However, if you are concerned or have a medical condition, PLEASE consult with your doctor before beginning any other exercise regimen.

Walking is a social distancing-approved activity. Normally, you could walk with friends or with a walking group, but social distancing has significantly limited our ability to do so. However, walking can be done individually, and you may find that you actually enjoy the time to yourself. I enjoy the quiet and use that time to outline my goals for the day, practice mindfulness, and enjoy time with my pup. If you can’t stand the idea of walking alone, consider popping in ear buds with your favorite playlist or call a friend to chat.

Empty walking path at Pingvellir National Park, Iceland.

Obviously, walking has its benefits. I’d encourage you to experiment with walking and see if it helps to elevate your happiness as it has mine. It’s become something I enjoy so much that I’ve added an evening walk to my routine as well!

Five tips for happier steps

To build upon the inherent happiness-boosting properties of walking, I’d recommend the following:

  1. Make walking a routine. Routines help us stay focused and structured, which aids in stress reduction and ultimately improves our happiness. The beauty of walking is that you can choose how and when it fits into your schedule, but adding it to your routine will take out any stressful guesswork or planning. Every morning, after Erin is fed and I have my first cup of coffee, we’re headed out the door for our walk. I don’t need to think about it, I don’t procrastinate, it just happens. Less stress = more happiness.
  2. Go green. Head outside and fill your lungs with fresh air and soak in all of the Vitamin D you can. I try to stay away from heavy traffic and busy streets when I walk since those areas are loud, distracting, and take away from the experience and relaxation I look forward to. I’d recommend not only staying away from congested areas, but walking where you actually see green, like parks, open fields, or hiking trails. These areas will help you feel happier and less anxious overall, and shift your energy to a more positive one. More peace = more happiness.
  3. Practice mindfulness. Use your walk to let your body and mind recharge, whether that means you plan out your day, practice meditation, or simply do your best to clear your mind for a few minutes. Leave your to-do list and stresses of the day at home, they will be there when you return. Appreciate and be thankful for moment you are in. More gratitude = more happiness.
  4. Unplug. I recommend using your walk as an opportunity to take a break. I know it’s easy to pull out your phone and scroll through social media, but please, keep it out of sight during your walk. Not only is your phone distracting, it can be downright dangerous if you aren’t paying attention to where you’re walking. In fact, cell phones may inhibit your brain from recharging effectively. Take a break, relax, and be happy. Fewer distractions = more happiness.
  5. Bring a friend (two or four-legged). Although we might not be able to do this now, I would recommend bringing a friend, whether human or animal, to accompany you on your walks. It’ll not only add an element of fun to your walk, but it will hold you accountable. The lack of accountability was one of my biggest obstacles to exercising in general. I always had an excuse; I was too tired, didn’t have enough time, didn’t want to miss this television show, the list goes on. If it wasn’t for my original commitment to Erin, to be a better version of myself for her, I would not have started walking consistently. I wouldn’t have experienced the benefits of walking regularly, nor realized how much I enjoy that time in general. Greater success = more happiness.
Dog walking on a leash.

Whether you are in great shape or just starting out, walking has the potential to help you, body and mind. I hope you consider these tips helpful and encouraging.

Do you walk (or run) regularly? What are your tips for happier, more successful sessions?

book review, Happiness, Mindfulness, Self Love

How I learned everything doesn’t always happen for a reason

Amanda

I like reading. I take joy in experiencing the words come to life as my mind wanders to another place and time. I revel in the sense of peace and relaxation that reading brings to me, so I decided on New Year’s 2019 to make reading a priority and resolved to read at least one book every month.

I compiled a list of works I wanted to read, from fiction classics, to self-help, non-fiction, and beyond, and created a Goodreads account to track my progress. I’m happy (and proud) to say that I kept that resolution (I know, right?!), and plan to continue reading at least one book a month (but hopefully more) for 2020. If you’d like to see what I’m currently reading, find me on Goodreads or scroll down to the bottom of this website.

Earlier this month I finished Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis. I was captivated by her storytelling and admired how vulnerable she was in her writing. She invited readers into her world as friends. Her fun, conversational, tone and raw exposure made her relatable, which kept bringing me back for more.

Rachel based each chapter in her book on a lie women have either told themselves or have been told by others. She shared what she learned through her own real-life experiences and offered advice and techniques to help her readers navigate similar situations. It was enlightening; I learned a lot about myself and the lies I believed while reading it. It took me only two days to finish, cover to cover.

There was one quote in particular that struck a chord with me. In the final pages of chapter 15, Hollis says,

“I don’t believe everything happens for a specific reason, but I do believe it’s possible to find purpose – event in the absence of explanation.” – Rachel Hollis

Throughout my life, I have consistently (and maybe convincingly) told myself that everything I experience happens for a reason. When I was laid off, I told myself that it happened for a reason, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened at all. After reading this quote though, I feel that maybe being laid off and self-quarantining didn’t happen for a specific reason, but it encouraged me to take the time to find my purpose.

I’ve accepted that I won’t discover my purpose overnight. Maybe I would live a more enriching life if I knew, but I am doing my best to keep my heart open and mind clear until I do. Isn’t it interesting how a single sentence can have such impact?

Have you recently read any books that got you thinking, like Rachel’s book did for me?

*Special thank you to Anjali from Blogger’s Bookshelf for this post’s cover photo. Check our her post reviewing Girl, Wash Your Face.

Gratitude, Happiness, Mindfulness, Self Love

How an earring taught me to take my own advice

Amanda

I bought a pair of earrings when I was in Reykjavík, Iceland last November from the Rammagerdin gift shop inside Perlan. I loved the contrast between the cool silver hoop and the raw lava rock, and how it reflected Iceland’s landscape. I thought the accessory was sweet, delicate, and it totally complemented my sense of style. There was no question, I had to have them.

I wore them as often as I could until the inevitable happened, I lost one (I bet this isn’t the first time you’ve heard that, and I can almost guarantee that it won’t be the last).

I was distraught. I retraced my steps. I called the offices and businesses I visited that day hoping that someone might have found it and turned it in. I combed through receipts from my time in Reykjavík looking for a clue to find another pair. I looked online for another set to purchase. Every effort came up short.

As I put the lone survivor in my jewelry cabinet I tried to accept that I wouldn’t find its partner and wrestled with the idea of not wearing the set again. I thought about my Motivation Monday post from earlier this week and what I loved about the accessory. Then it hit me: It wasn’t the earrings themselves that I loved.

I loved the earrings because of how they made me feel and how they reminded me of how special my trip was.

Those earrings represented an extraordinary trip with my mother, grandmother, and family friend. We laughed, got lost, and enjoyed each others’ company as we experienced the wonders of Iceland (and Ireland) together. Thinking about the experiences we had, the people we met, and (of course) the food we ate brought me happiness, and every time I wore those earrings those feelings returned.

This photo was taken at Blarney Castle in Ireland, another stop on our trip together.

I realized that I didn’t need to have a pair of earrings to remind myself of the trip and continue feeling that happiness. I decided to take my own advice and redirect my energy into something creative and productive.

Instead of obsessing that I no longer had a pair of earrings to wear, I added a chain to the remaining earring and made it into a necklace.

It still reminds me of my travels and gives me the same feelings of excitement and happiness I had when it was an earring. It still represents Iceland, I can still wear it as often as I’d like, it still complements my style, and I still love it. Let’s just hope I don’t lose this, too!

Gratitude, Mindfulness

Why I’m thankful for the chicken and her egg

Amanda

The shared family barn is also home to a dozen or so fretful laying hens and a vocal rooster. They are free-range, so they confidently come and go wherever they please, including Gordon’s stall.

Usually, I’m annoyed when I find chickens in or around Gordon’s stall. They somehow always find themselves underfoot, and find really inconvenient places to defecate. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has slipped or has deep-cleaned water buckets because of something similar.

But today, as I chased a hen out of Gordon’s stall, I noticed that she left a different kind of gift.

Pardon the terrible barn lighting, but it was too good not to share!

Nestled in the corner of Gordon’s stall, on a thick bed of wood shavings, sat a smooth, perfect, egg. I picked up the egg and studied it; I was a bit in shock and awe. This hen was brave enough to lay an egg in a stall shared with an animal 1,000 times its size, and I was fortunate enough to find the egg before it was destroyed. As silly as it sounds, I felt like I needed to take a moment to acknowledge and thank the hen for this small but significant offering. I felt that this small gift, even if given unknowingly, was a peace offering, peace between my sometimes trying relationship with the chickens, but also peace in my own mind that everything is going to be fine. I will get through the unknown the world is facing.

And it all started with an egg.

Welcome

Let me introduce myself

Amanda

Hi, all! I’m Amanda. I’m a marketer/designer by trade, and was born, raised, and currently reside in Central New York. I consider myself to be a creative problem-solver, animal lover, and slight perfectionist. My favorite pastimes are traveling, drinking coffee, solving puzzles, eating pizza, and snuggling my old horse and recently rescued pup.

I traveled to Ireland in the fall of 2019 and met these guys on the Cliffs of Moher.

I’m regularly inspired by both the simplicity and complexity of nature, life, and love. I try to confidently live each day with gratitude, grace, and purpose because I know how blessed I am.

I have a family and friends who love me, I’ve traveled to places that some will never have the opportunity to visit, I studied fields that fascinate me at my dream colleges (proud Cazenovia College and Marist College alumna right here!), and landed a perfect job just six months after completing my undergraduate studies.

I was hired as part of the marketing team for a not-for-profit whose mission was to support a local university and it’s students. From the start, I loved the company and its purpose; I felt the job was made for me. I loved the benefits, the flexibility, the people, and my team. I loved that it wasn’t far from my family or my horse. I loved that I didn’t have to sacrifice who I was or what I enjoyed in order to be successful.

And then COVID-19 hit.

Within a week of the virus penetrating the United States, I found myself, along with thousands of others across the country, laid off of work.

In the blink of an eye I felt completely disconnected from the campus and the company I adored. To say that I was overwhelmed is an understatement. I had just recently purchased a house and adopted my pup, how was I to get by without my paycheck? And since we’ve been asked to practice social distancing, what was I going to do with all of that time stuck in isolation?

Despite my fears, I recognized and understood that, although I didn’t have any control over this unanticipated, monumental, life change, I still had control over my mindset. I wasn’t given a return-to-work date, but my lay-off is temporary and I am thankful to be able to collect unemployment in the meantime. I also feel that, whether it is fate, my subconscious, or the powers that be, I am being asked to slow down, be mindful, and to give myself some breathing space.

So here I am, starting a blog, wanting to share my journey with you. I hope to learn a lot, grow a lot, and write a lot, and I hope you’ll come along for the ride.